It's been two weeks since I first officially started this project. And I've written exactly ZERO letters.
Why is this so hard?
I think there are a couple of things going on here. One is obvious: pure laziness. It's way easier at the end of the day to make it a Netflix Night than sit down with a pen and paper in the quiet of my apartment to write a thoughtful letter. The other, which may actually be the greater obstacle here, is that I fear someone hearing of my project and saying something like: "Um, sounds like someone needs to get a job."
Neither seems to be a good enough reason not to forge on. So I'm recommitting and going to start today. (I think.)
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
The Seed
Amid all the celebrations and a perfectly relaxing 10-day trip to Jamaica to celebrate my 40th birthday this past October, there was but a small seed of an idea that was quietly planted deep down, way in the back of my mind. It was slow growing and would take months for it to germinate and finally spring up. But like all things, it happens when it’s ready to happen and not one minute sooner.
For my milestone birthday, Johnny planned and plotted and surprised me at every turn with all sorts of gifts, dinners and celebrations. There was a fabulously long massage at my favorite day spa in Brooklyn, he had my wedding and engagement rings resized so they actually fit my post-Sophia sized ring finger, he wined and dined me at a fancy-schmancy dinner at a steakhouse in Tribeca, invited all the girlies to a surprise brunch at The Park one day and my family to an Italian dinner the night of my birthday. Oh how the list goes on and on. I'm certain that I've missed something glaringly obvious and I'll catch hell from him about it. Honestly, it got embarrassing at a certain point to celebrate with such wild abandon (“wait, I don’t get to have one more dinner, do I?!”) And yet, one part of me asks, well why not? You only turn 40 once, right? Somehow I managed to relish in the limelight, to be present in every moment and feel the pure rush of love and attention from my dear friends and family, and I was filled to overflowing with gratitude. So much so that I literally got down on my knees just as had when I was a child, and I thanked God for such love and grace and abundance in my life. And I’ve been thanking God, the Universe, the Source (the term keeps changing but the sentiment is the same) like that ever since.
In fact, the power of prayer and true gratitude have always intrigued me. The more you say thank you, the more you find things to be grateful for it seems. It multiplies, just like love. For a long time actually, I’ve kept gratitude lists jotted in journals, lists recited only within the confines of my head, and most recently I’ve gotten Sophia in on the action at the end of each day at bedtime. Out loud, I recite a list of things for which I feel happy and grateful (for instance, always having food on our table and in our bellies, my comfy bed, the home that we so cherish, friends who truly 'get' me and vice versa, John's unconditional love) and I always finish with my awe-filled gratitude for having such a wonderful daughter, my very heart. When it’s her turn, generally she includes Mommy and Daddy, trees and flowers, and maybe one of her classmates, and always without fail, chocolate. A pretty good start, I think. My hope is that this practice will stick. That she will live a life of daily gratitude, that she will continue to find love, grace, gratitude in her life, during the ups, the downs and all of the in-betweens. For what better practice is there than gratitude? Well, kindness, I suppose. To me, it’s all about Gratitude and Kindness. And by it, I mean Life. This is the one thing that I’ve learned in these forty years, and the one thing that I know for sure to be true.
Back to the small seed that’s been silently growing underground for months now, the project that I had wanted to be my 40 project but has only now sprung up into the sunshine. Since I’m now closer to 41, I’ll consider it a bridging of the two ages. I’m calling it “41 thank yous” (thanks to Johnny for the name) and it’s a project that will take my very personal practice of gratitude out into the open and share it with others. How often do we think to tell someone how much we love and appreciate them – for one small act or for always being there, or simply just for being? As some of you know, I recently started a daily meditation practice and I'm learning how there is nothing but this very moment. Life is happening right here, right now. Not next week or next year, or even the next hour, but right here where I'm sitting, breathing in and out at this very moment. This project aims to get me outside of my own head and closer to the people who have thus far shared and shaped my life. It aims to send some props out right now to those people I love and appreciate, instead of waiting for off-in-the-distance, never-attainable Someday.
My mother instilled in me the proper etiquette and the wondrously simple act of saying thank you in the form of a notecard. Handwritten, stamped, mailed. Totally old school in this age of instant everything, but wow what a gift. I remember her begging me and my brothers to please, please, please thank Auntie So-and-So for the $10 check for our birthdays each year. I doubt that I always complied back then (sorry, Aunt Kay, for the check I never cashed that one year), but the lesson somehow stuck and I’m a lifelong lover of the old-style handwritten word and snail mail. Plus, I love pretty notecards and Rolling Writer pens, and the great feeling of saying something to someone to make them feel great. Everybody wins. Nice. So I'm going to write a thank you note every few days to someone to say thank you for something, or for everything, or for who knows what. We'll just have to see how it goes. Originally I thought that I would compose a list of recipients and just tick them off as I went along. But instead, as a way of going a bit deeper and getting outside my comfort zone since I'm so OCD about keeping things tidy and organized and pristinely planned, I'm just going to let it unfold as it will. Each day that I write, I'll just go with the flow and see what comes up, or rather who comes up when I contemplate gratitude. With the plan of writing every few days, I should reach the 41st letter by my 41st birthday. And who knows, maybe I'll just keep on going. No rules.
If you’re reading this, you’ve probably received a letter. Or not. Maybe you’re reading it because I sent one to your spouse and you’re curious about why the hell I didn’t send one to you too. More on that to come in a later posting. Either way, thanks for being interested enough to read more about my project. Maybe now you’ll start your own thank you writing campaign. I would love nothing more than that. In fact, I’d be eternally grateful.
For my milestone birthday, Johnny planned and plotted and surprised me at every turn with all sorts of gifts, dinners and celebrations. There was a fabulously long massage at my favorite day spa in Brooklyn, he had my wedding and engagement rings resized so they actually fit my post-Sophia sized ring finger, he wined and dined me at a fancy-schmancy dinner at a steakhouse in Tribeca, invited all the girlies to a surprise brunch at The Park one day and my family to an Italian dinner the night of my birthday. Oh how the list goes on and on. I'm certain that I've missed something glaringly obvious and I'll catch hell from him about it. Honestly, it got embarrassing at a certain point to celebrate with such wild abandon (“wait, I don’t get to have one more dinner, do I?!”) And yet, one part of me asks, well why not? You only turn 40 once, right? Somehow I managed to relish in the limelight, to be present in every moment and feel the pure rush of love and attention from my dear friends and family, and I was filled to overflowing with gratitude. So much so that I literally got down on my knees just as had when I was a child, and I thanked God for such love and grace and abundance in my life. And I’ve been thanking God, the Universe, the Source (the term keeps changing but the sentiment is the same) like that ever since.
In fact, the power of prayer and true gratitude have always intrigued me. The more you say thank you, the more you find things to be grateful for it seems. It multiplies, just like love. For a long time actually, I’ve kept gratitude lists jotted in journals, lists recited only within the confines of my head, and most recently I’ve gotten Sophia in on the action at the end of each day at bedtime. Out loud, I recite a list of things for which I feel happy and grateful (for instance, always having food on our table and in our bellies, my comfy bed, the home that we so cherish, friends who truly 'get' me and vice versa, John's unconditional love) and I always finish with my awe-filled gratitude for having such a wonderful daughter, my very heart. When it’s her turn, generally she includes Mommy and Daddy, trees and flowers, and maybe one of her classmates, and always without fail, chocolate. A pretty good start, I think. My hope is that this practice will stick. That she will live a life of daily gratitude, that she will continue to find love, grace, gratitude in her life, during the ups, the downs and all of the in-betweens. For what better practice is there than gratitude? Well, kindness, I suppose. To me, it’s all about Gratitude and Kindness. And by it, I mean Life. This is the one thing that I’ve learned in these forty years, and the one thing that I know for sure to be true.
Back to the small seed that’s been silently growing underground for months now, the project that I had wanted to be my 40 project but has only now sprung up into the sunshine. Since I’m now closer to 41, I’ll consider it a bridging of the two ages. I’m calling it “41 thank yous” (thanks to Johnny for the name) and it’s a project that will take my very personal practice of gratitude out into the open and share it with others. How often do we think to tell someone how much we love and appreciate them – for one small act or for always being there, or simply just for being? As some of you know, I recently started a daily meditation practice and I'm learning how there is nothing but this very moment. Life is happening right here, right now. Not next week or next year, or even the next hour, but right here where I'm sitting, breathing in and out at this very moment. This project aims to get me outside of my own head and closer to the people who have thus far shared and shaped my life. It aims to send some props out right now to those people I love and appreciate, instead of waiting for off-in-the-distance, never-attainable Someday.
My mother instilled in me the proper etiquette and the wondrously simple act of saying thank you in the form of a notecard. Handwritten, stamped, mailed. Totally old school in this age of instant everything, but wow what a gift. I remember her begging me and my brothers to please, please, please thank Auntie So-and-So for the $10 check for our birthdays each year. I doubt that I always complied back then (sorry, Aunt Kay, for the check I never cashed that one year), but the lesson somehow stuck and I’m a lifelong lover of the old-style handwritten word and snail mail. Plus, I love pretty notecards and Rolling Writer pens, and the great feeling of saying something to someone to make them feel great. Everybody wins. Nice. So I'm going to write a thank you note every few days to someone to say thank you for something, or for everything, or for who knows what. We'll just have to see how it goes. Originally I thought that I would compose a list of recipients and just tick them off as I went along. But instead, as a way of going a bit deeper and getting outside my comfort zone since I'm so OCD about keeping things tidy and organized and pristinely planned, I'm just going to let it unfold as it will. Each day that I write, I'll just go with the flow and see what comes up, or rather who comes up when I contemplate gratitude. With the plan of writing every few days, I should reach the 41st letter by my 41st birthday. And who knows, maybe I'll just keep on going. No rules.
If you’re reading this, you’ve probably received a letter. Or not. Maybe you’re reading it because I sent one to your spouse and you’re curious about why the hell I didn’t send one to you too. More on that to come in a later posting. Either way, thanks for being interested enough to read more about my project. Maybe now you’ll start your own thank you writing campaign. I would love nothing more than that. In fact, I’d be eternally grateful.
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